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all_early_childhoodTheir emotional wellbeing is nurtured

manages self and expresses feelings and needs to trusted people

te whakahua whakaaro

Cultural concept — preserved verbatim

Observe whether the child: manages self and expresses feelings and needs to trusted people.

What it looks like

Three ways this behaviour shows up as a child grows. Each level includes everyday moments to watch for.

Emerging

Just starting

Shows a feeling or need through body cues, crying, withdrawal, reaching, or a single word, and accepts a trusted adult naming what may be happening.

What you might see

  • Hides behind an adult during a noisy moment, then nods when the adult says, "Too loud?"
  • Reaches for a cup and says "drink" after becoming upset at kai time.
  • Cries when a turn is delayed but stays near the adult who offers words for the feeling.

Expected

On track

Communicates a feeling, need, or limit to a familiar adult or peer and uses one simple regulating action, such as asking for help, moving closer, taking space, choosing water, or waiting with support.

What you might see

  • Says, "I need help with this," and hands the stuck zip to a trusted adult before yelling.
  • Tells a peer, "I’m still using it," then brings the toy closer while waiting for adult support.
  • Asks to sit in the quiet corner after covering ears during a loud group song.

Exceeding

Going further

Notices the feeling early, selects a strategy before escalation, and explains enough of the trigger or need for another person to respond appropriately.

What you might see

  • Says, "I’m angry because he took it," then asks for a timer so each child can have a turn.
  • Chooses water and a quiet seat after running hard, explaining, "My body is too hot."
  • Tells an adult, "I can wait if you stand by me," during a hard transition.

Try this at home

Small everyday moments where you can notice this behaviour without setting up anything special.

  • Create a small waiting moment, such as pouring drinks one at a time. Watch what your child does before frustration peaks: words, gestures, moving closer, asking for help, or choosing a calming action.

  • When your child is tired, hungry, excited, or disappointed, offer two concrete supports, such as water or a cuddle, quiet space or help. Notice whether they can choose and tell you what they need.

Where this comes from

The dataset source and any supporting developmental research.

  • Ministry of Education. (2017). Te Whāriki: He whāriki mātauranga mō ngā mokopuna o Aotearoa: Early childhood curriculum.

    The bicultural early childhood curriculum of Aotearoa New Zealand. Te Tāhuhu o te Mātauranga (NZ Ministry of Education), 2017 revision.